Money for Nothing

(reprinted here by Flimsy's family)

Dear Friends and Family,

By the time you read this I shall be in Mansfield, LA where according to a story on CNN.com this morning an ATM machine is mistakenly giving out twenty dollar bills instead of fives. I shall arrive unheeded to hatch my plan so long as a bank employee doesn't read CNN.com The probability is low I have concluded, as bankers tend to relax on weekends after the grind of a long week of 'banker's hours.' Reading the internets is not relaxing, so far as I can tell, but as evidenced today can provide a wealth of information to the entrepreneurial minded.
And yes, I have wrestled with the latent immorality of such an act and have concluded there is none. At first blush it seems the bank is sure to lose money but like the stock market a banking transaction is a risky proposition entered into willingly by both parties, the bank and the customer. The outcome is never certain. A customer may write a check for $62.45 at Louis Liquor Emporium in Omaha last week only to discover later such funds were not in an account. A common oversight, right? Yes, I would say. But no, the bank has charged me a $25 insufficient check charge. Bank wins again. Or for example a customer swipes his Visa check card only to hear 'I'm sorry sir this card was declined.' Really? I said. This transaction is a draw. No one wins, no one loses. The bank is happy, and the customer satiated as he had already drank half of the Bud tall boy while waiting in line.
In short I will continue this little dance between man and the banking system. Only this time were gonna tussle Bayou style. I shall ask for a five dollar bill and the bank, if it accepts the challenge, will give me a five. That is all I ask for. Should I end up with something else, well welcome back to the roller coaster world of high finance, bank!
See you soon!

-Flimsy