Your Questions Answered

Dear Flim,

Are the Great Lakes really dissappearing?

Ralph Steadman, Marquette, MI

Dear Ralph,

No, they are not.

-F.L.



Dear Mr. LaMent,

Do you have that $151.67 you owe us?

-Omaha Public Power District

Dear OPPD,

I do have the $151.67 I owe you, but as I explained in my last correspondence I will remit payment as soon as you turn my power back on. This stalemate can go on indefinitely, the question is, can you?

-F.L.




Dear Son,

I fear your time spent blogging might be put to better use such as visiting me and your father or even getting a job. We spent a lot of our hard earned money settling the 'suit' so that you might start anew but you seem hellbent on living this fantasy life where responsibility and healthy social connections are things to be ignored, even despised. I'm worried about you Flimsy and I want you to come home for a while. I'll say a prayer for you tonight and if your father regains consciousness I'll tell him you're thinking about paying him a visit.

Love,

Mom

Dear Mom,

This section of my blog is called 'Your Questions Answered' not 'Your Sniveling Bullshit Posted'. No question, ergo No Answer.

-F.L.